The director of genetic-testing lab DNA Diagnostics claims to have sequenced the DNA of a Bigfoot-type creature from a population that arose when “male, non-human primates mated with early human females.”

One of the genetic samples used in the sequencing process was obtained by “picking hairs off a blueberry bagel left in a back yard” belonging to a woman who “reports being regularly visited by Sasquatches at her home in rural Michigan.”

Laugh if you must, but Jane Goodall, for one, wants to believe.