1. Because I’ve devoted perhaps eighty percent of my adult waking hours to thinking about sex, and it seems dishonest to pretend otherwise in my work.
2. Because human beings are never more alive to their own hope and shame and fear than when they are naked and aroused, and because the same must therefore be true of our characters, who are nothing more than poorly disguised versions of ourselves.
3. Because I’m really tired of seeing sex used to sell SUVs and underarm deodorant and crappy light beer, rather than being portrayed as a natural and sometimes even holy human endeavor.
4. Because I have accumulated over the years such a tremendous surplus of sexual humiliation that it seems stingy of me not to re-gift some it to my readers.
5. Because I happen to agree with Freud’s naughtiest disciple, Wilhelm Reich, who argued that a true political revolution would only be possible once sexual repression was overthrown, which pretty much rules out the Tea Party as a true political revolution because, boy, is that a movement that needs to get laid.
6. Because I am now married with two small children and thus writing about sex often constitutes the closest I get to having sex.
7. Because President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky did have sexual relations, and while I could care less about the big phony scandal that story became, I am interested in the sweet and deranged version of love that passed between them. Aren’t you?
8. Because I’m really tired of having to listen to well-meaning religious folk misquoting God about how the rest of us should use our genitals.
9. Because both my parents are psychoanalysts – and despite what you are all now thinking, which is basically, Wow, you must be a really crazy person, which is a very interesting thought for you to have, by the way, and something we might want to talk about a bit later in the session – the one lesson my parents managed to impart, as I lay those many afternoons on the analytic couch that was, in fact, the only piece of furniture in our living room, is that our libidinal drives are not some bright new user option, but an essential part of our beings, an inborn riot of wants and counter wants that we can never control entirely. And because, as a writer, I’m interested in the loss of control, in the danger of forbidden thought and feeling, it strikes me as utterly foolish – just from a practical perspective – not to write about sex. Why skip over the part almost guaranteed to teach you something new about yourself?
10. Because I’m tired of living in a culture that allows children to fire make-believe glocks but freaks out at the first sign of a naked boob.
11. I just really love being able to write off lube as a business expense.
12. Because our best writing resides in the senses, and sex invokes all five of our senses—at least if you’re doing it right.
13. Because, though I watch pornography, and am terrifically involved with it for about two and a half minutes, I am most often made sad by pornography. Not simply because it involves the self-exploitation of people who probably have suffered a good deal of misfortune, and not simply because porn stars can perform in manners that often seem like physiological, geometrical, and even gravitational impossibilities (and thus make me feel like the abject sexual nebbish I surely am) but because porn stars are actors being paid, most often, to simulate pleasure. They drain sex of its single most intimate aspect: the vulnerabilities that bring us to the act in the first place, the drama of our imperfect bodies as we seek to make a communion of our desires.
14. Because I believe literature’s central purpose is not to pretend we don’t have bodies and their consequent needs, but to make us feel less alone with these needs.
15. Because the Puritans themselves were—don’t kid yourselves—total horndogs who wanted nothing more than to tear off those black robes and suffer a spiritual crisis. And because when I write about sex I am writing, ultimately, about a dream that begins with the Puritans: that we the people of this violent and troubled kingdom will at last forgive ourselves the lust and loneliness the reddens our blood, and will seek a final remedy in the warm temple of one another’s bodies. Who’s with me?
***
This Manifesto is part of a set of six tiny books called Writs of Passion. They are adult material, stories and essays that have appeared in Tin House, The Normal School, Playboy, Best American Erotica, etc., but are too dirty for prime-time. The covers fit together like a puzzle to form a gorgeous image, created by my DIY partner in crime Brian Stauffer. Limited edition, available until Valentine’s Day.
To order, send $25 per set via Paypal (sbalmond AT earthlink.net) or send an email to stevealmondjoy AT gmail.com.
***
“Why I Write Smut: A Manifesto” originally appeared in The Normal School, Spring 2012.
Art by Brian Stauffer.
22 responses
So why does it hurt when I pee?
You sir are fantastic. I salute you.
“They drain sex of its single most intimate aspect: the vulnerabilities that bring us to the act in the first place, the drama of our imperfect bodies as we seek to make a communion of our desires.” man, you have a good mind. a really good mind. i love your writing.
I am with you and I am inspired. Thanks.
i’m for it. bringing it back to the body, my brother other.
Steve, amazing. You’re back, please never go back to political punditry ever again. Just one more thing. “the vulnerabilities that bring us to the act in the first place, the drama of our imperfect bodies as we seek to make a communion of our desires.†Speak for yourself! Mine’s perfect LOL.
Sex is amazing, but even Epicureans know too much of a good thing eventually ruins it.
Saw you on the doc Bad Writing and loved every word you said. Now I’m working my way into your writing– bad or not, though I think it’ll be ‘not’.
Cheers.
I have arrived here for the first time and I am a little lazy to look around too much, so, perhaps, my comment will land out of context. Please take it with as many grains of salt as you desire.
I don’t understand how you can brag about smut that you have written without posting any links to contributions that you may have made to the vast collections of free smut archived around the web. I mean, if I want smut, I know where I can find it for free. Indeed, I have written some of it. I have also spent the time to wade through the fields of dreck where content trumps quality searching for jewels of creativity and inspiration. How is it possible that your product will top what I have found? For, it is from all the detritus out and about that the most beautiful and creative tales of smutdom bloom. Amateurs, fetishists, and unsophisticated, uneducated, unwashed masses have spent hours and hours slaving under the glow of flickering monitors churning out smut where their reward is no more than a mere comment (“more please…”). Why would I want to drop cash on smut based on a pretentious manifesto extolling its virtues? For god’s sake man, you haven’t even properly attributed your work properly (“Ff bdsm” for me please).
Maybe you write good smut. On the other hand, maybe this is just an attempt to seem edgy or raw or cutting edge. You can go and sell your highfalutin erotica all you want, just make sure that you label it what it is and don’t appropriate labels from us, who have worked so hard to nobly saddle and sully ourselves with the dregs of the narrative.
–subGrrl
Right on! May your manifesto become manifest.
Number six.
So many excellent reasons for writing! My favorite among these? A write-off for lube. I wish I could do that for vibrators, I go through and break at least one every time he deploys.
Thank you for this! Wonderful and true and resonant. “Slippy for President” is a story that has stayed with me all these years. So glad it’s getting reprinted.
Omg, I love this.
subgrrl – i will buy because it makes a nicer valentine’s day gift than handing someone a link to a website.
Betsy – you are both much more wise and bold than I. I toast you.
I love this. However, I disagree with the commenter that thinks you should give up punditry. I like all the Almonds.
Three cheers for your smut, Steve Almond, because sometimes it’s hard being the only perv in the room and your work makes me feel less alone. XXX
Awesome! Yes, I write (and am a publisher/editor of) sex for many of these reasons too. And dear god, yes, we *so* need a sexual revolution. By the way, as you may already know, there’s lots of lovely porn out there that *can* make use feel good, in my opinion, in so many ways. I love Jennifer Lyon Bell’s “Matinee.” Awesome, story-driven, enjoyable work! Steve, and the Rumpus, a *wonderful* manifesto. Thank you!
Bingo!
Nice one, Almond! Now my only question is… will they get me off? In literature, as in life, can satisfaction ever be guaranteed?
My girlfriend is leaving subtle hints about what she wants as a Valentine’s Day gift. She says “Don’t get me anything, for god’s sake.” I find her laptop open to the Writs of Passion page. If you don’t believe me, look, over there on the coffee table.
SubGrrl, can you please provide links to the array of free smut you speak of? I’m relatively new to the genre and would appreciate any advice on where to explore.
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