Reductress: Women’s News. Feminized.

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In lieu of a “Funny Women” column today, please read all of Reductress, a new satirical women’s web magazine like The Onion that “tells the stories of real women, written by real women, for other real women who like to read about women.” At last, a news magazine that “that empower[s] women with feminine ideas, feminine emotions, and feminine products.”

Reductress “parodies woman-focused marketing and the consumer identity built around it, taking on the perk and patronizing tone that saturates online media today. The site aims to be the ultimate source for women’s media satire.” So stop watching Fox News report on studies about women becoming the primary breadwinners while simultaneously ruining society by defying biology, and let Reductress take care of your women’s news needs. Finally, here is a thingy that “helps other women become the unique, irreverent individuals they are meant to be, and…already are?”

“We have a very specific idea of the Reductress woman,” says co-creator Beth Newell. “She’s smart, sassy, and deep. Just like us,” other co-creator Sarah Pappalardo agrees. Just like “Funny Women” contributors and readers. Each “everyday woman” who is also “incredibly unique” needs reading material to reflect that.

The “premier women’s news magazine” is divided into helpful categories that “targets a particular women’s niche: shoddy love & sex advice, patronizing self-help and empowerment pieces, questionable beauty and fashion tips, unsourced celebrity gossip, and rampant product placement.” Thank goddess Reductress “is a news source you can trust to help you become the woman you never wanted to be.”

Don’t miss these articles I found empowering and informative:

News: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Submits Dissenting Opinion via Pinterest Board

Living: Everything You Need to Know About Finance in 5 Adorable Puppy Photos and Five Questions to Ask Yourself Before Doing Anything, which includes “Will I want to write about this in my memoir?”

Style: Dove’s Sketch Artist Leaks Drawings of the Women Who Actually Were Ugly and Creator of ‘Rape in America’ Documentary Talks About Hair Care

Entertainment: Adele Releases Children’s Album About the Heartache of Playing

Love & Sex: Which Bedroom Maneuvers Display Your Crippling Self-Doubt and Sexual Appetite: Tips for Hiding How Hungry You Are During Sex, by my hilarious/thoughtful improv 101 teacher/friend Chelsea Clarke

Womanspiration: From Dumb Slut to Hot Slut: Improving Your Self-Talk and Why I Got Married to Myself

Co-creator Pappalardo says, “The Reductress woman has it all and does it all…because she wants to be the best woman that the media tells her she can be.” A(wo)men.

Immediately follow Reductress on Twitter and on Tumblr and on Facebook and of course on Pinterest.

P.S. They are currently looking for an editorial intern.


Elissa Bassist edits the Funny Women column. She teaches humor writing at The New School and Catapult. Follow her on Twitter, and visit elissabassist.com for more literary, feminist, and personal criticism. More from this author →