the dog born March 30th who I will find 6 months from now

to know what it’s like to hurl myself down the mountain

for the wind to blow right through me

for someone with an operatic voice to sing The Eurythmics “Love Is a Stranger” with me. I will sing the low notes until she teaches me to reach the higher notes

to be obliterated

to roll into the wet grass with the hallucination walking towards me

to fly out of here

for the tree trunks to turn into snakes

to step out of the life I’ve known

to be knocked over with honesty

to let the hate running through my veins be channeled in the right directions

to be swallowed by the desert

for someone to take my child off my hands while I go howl somewhere

to have you tell me, privately, every single thing you have ever felt about me that you would never normally tell me because let me tell you, we’re in a window when I can take it, and take it in, and I will never repeat it back to you and I will not reply but I am famished for honesty

to unzip this skin and walk out (again)

for you to let me go on and on if I have to

for you to understand when I can’t reply

safe passage to May

Wendy C. Ortiz is a native of Los Angeles, California. She is the author of Excavation: A Memoir (Future Tense Books) and Hollywood Notebook (Writ Large Press), both to be released in 2014. Wendy is a columnist for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and curates and hosts the Rhapsodomancy Reading Series. More from this author →