On Homosexuality and Wrestling with a Faith that Doesn’t Want You


In Chelsea Station magazine, Brian Bouldrey writes about editing Wrestling with the Angel: Faith and Religion in the Lives of Gay Men, and about how he’s still wrestling with faith and homosexuality:

I realized that there were these others, these priests and clergy I always regarded as opponents, but they were on my side, and we were all wrestling with a narrative that didn’t work, a meaninglessness, a loss of sense—in fact, the germ of the book was my own surprise, at the death of my great lovely partner Jeff, when I rushed to the church to find something to salvage from that bonfire. I rushed into the church that didn’t want me, and I was determined to make them see how little sense, like death itself, that dismissal of me was. That, of course, is the wrestling part. And I wrestle to this day, each day, as if the fight has just begun.

Lyz's writing has been published in the New York Times Motherlode, Jezebel, Aeon, Pacific Standard, and others. Her book on midwestern churches is forthcoming from Indiana University Press. She has her MFA from Lesley and skulks about on Twitter @lyzl. Lyz is a member of The Rumpus Advisory Board and a full-time staff writer for the Columbia Journalism Review. More from this author →