Love (or Something), Virtually

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And the winner of Best Opening Line Ever goes to: “I was a gay man playing ‘Warcraft’ as a beautiful woman, and he was a Mormon virgin. Our romance was a time bomb.”

Over at Salon, Elliot Glen tells the story of his pixel-mediated relationship with a callow, straight, Mormon virgin:

I first met SaltySaber in a dark and dangerous swamp, where he answered my desperate cry for help and rescued me from a gaggle of ruthless ghosts . . .

The idea of him was appealing: a two-dimensional boy who treated me like a lady. I was just as flat to him: a girl with whom he could kill things.


Casey Dayan is a Rumpus intern and musician. He is finishing up his undergraduate studies in literature and anthropology at the University of California, Santa Cruz where he is working on a memoir and trying to one-up Jeff Buckley. Find his twitter here, @caseydayan. Find his band, “Moo,” here. More from this author →