On People Pleasing

A person holds their chin, and eyes with questioning expressions float behind them. The caption reads: Sometimes when people are looking at me, I tend to believe that they are judging or criticizing me.
A person with bug antennae coming out of their forehead. The caption reads: so I got into a habit of scanning my surroundings to see if I can feel safe and relax.
The person with bug antennae stands on tiptoe, and the ground is covered in spikes. The caption reads: the scanning habit works like an early warning system, it helps me deal with difficult or even dangerous situations.
A set of eyes and a nose, with sweat surrounding them. The eyes show drawings of spikes rather than an eye ball. The caption reads: but I realized that this wasn't always helpful, because many situations began to feel like potential threats to me.
The person opens a door, and the caption reads: to understand my reactions, I was ready to confront my memories and experiences.
A series of faces. Some have lightening bolds or fire instead of eyes. The caption reads: as a child, I was surrounded by some scary adults, their expectations and demands.
A wave towers over the narrator. At the top of the wave are angry faces. The caption reads: I learned early on to please them in order to ffeel safe and loved.
The caption reads: my parents too, learned to people-please, and were guided by other people's opinions. A woman says: what are people going to think about us? A man says: if you don't do better than these Germans and prove yourself, you won't get anywhere!
The narrator sits in a chair. Two people sit in chairs across from her and talk about her. They say: what's her problem? can't she smile? she looks so arrogant? yeah, she looks quite aggressive.
A close-up drawing of a smile. The caption reads: I learned to smile even when I didn't feel like it, to reassure people and make them feel at ease. Hoping that they won't project their fears onto me.
The narrator holds a smiling mask over her frowning face. The caption reads: My smile became a mask, and it was easier to wear one instead of showing the real me.
The narrator sits with her head in her hands, and her face is scowling. Behind her is a drawing of herself as a superhero. The caption reads: at some point I realized my self-worth was based on feeling useful and needed. I liked to be be perceived as caring, understanding, and resilient.
The narrator wears headphones, and someone holds her smiling mask in front of her. The caption reads: This is why I used to listen to people's stories about themselves for far too long, even if they wouldn't listen to mine.
The narrator has two faces: a smiling one and a frowning one. The caption reads: I was saying yes too often to avoid the discomfort of saying no.
Three faces, including the narrator, stare at each other. The caption reads: I was hyper aware of other people's reactions, so I was able to cater to their needs.
A lizard drawn in the likeness of the narrator. The caption reads: over time, I became a very, very talented chameleon. But I wasn't happy.
A lizard lying down on a branch. The lizard has spirals for eyes. The caption reads: I was exhausted.
The author's head swirled in a spiral shape. The caption reads: I was suffering and something needed to change. I began to observe which thought patterns fueled my people pleasing tendencies.
The narrator stands shirtless and wears a purple pair of underwear. She stares at her body. The caption reads: I learned to listen to my body and to focus on my sensations and feelings.
The narrator holds her chin and has yellow plants growing out of her ears. The caption reads: Now I allow myself more often to listen to what I need and want, I learn to balance the needs of others with my own and to tolerate the discomfort of displeasing people in the process. I am still learning.
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Sanata Nacro (she/they) is an artist based in cologne/Germany. Currently they are exploring connection, somatic awareness and intersectional experiences through visual art. Sanata aims to tell stories, be it through comics, portraits or illustrations. You can find her work on instagram @sanata_illustriert

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