Hi there! We’re the two brunettes who hate sex. Sara-Kate hates sex because it’s too aerobic—she once sprained her foot. She lives in Kips Bay, loves candy, and wears exclusively rompers. Elisa Jordana hates sex because she abhors the human penis and all its functions. Not a fan of balls, either. She lives on the […]
Elisa Jordana is a comedy writer, radio personality, and host of the web series Kermit And Friends. Previous credits include performing as the original keytar player for Cobra Starship, writing for The Howard Stern Show, Marie Claire, XOJane, and The Washington Post. She has made appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Howard Stern, MTV, VH1, Sharknado, and Fox News.
Sara-Kate Astrove recently completed her MFA at The New School and is currently working on her memoir, Sugar Baby. Her work, published under “anonymous,” has appeared in Marie Claire, Elle, Cosmo, Harper’s Bazaar, Redbook, and Yahoo. Sara-Kate lives alone in Kips Bay and once appeared on the cover of The New York Post. She will never turn down a Quest bar.