Katorga: This is where we’re at: when the economy is tough there is always an influx of stupid news stories saying that you can be a Dominatrix at any age and that it’s just about tying people up, as though that isn’t a skill that takes education and practice, and spanking them, as though that isn’t a skill that takes education and practice. There’s a sense that you can set up shop if you just say you’re a mistress. It’s complicated because sex work is how many women find the means to make ends meet.  But I know from experience that domination is not easy sex work. Nevertheless there are a lot more women working in the field.  It’s easy to create a false persona and to be a really half-assed Dominatrix. There are a lot of them out there.  Because of this, men have a more difficult time getting what they want from those sessions while still paying what they’d offer someone with experience and investment in their career.  Clients have a harder time relying on the word “Dominatrix” or “Mistress” being anything other than a parroted marketing tag and so they commit to fewer sessions because it is an expensive hobby.  They shop around. They look for a deal instead of the right chemistry. It’s a lot more difficult to get someone to trust you are who you say you, to follow through and come in for a session than it was in the past. It creates tension and suspicion for everyone.  Dominatrices don’t want to waste their time when people are shopping for ‘just anyone’ and clients don’t want to waste time and money on an experience with someone who lies about their interests or skill level just to make the rent. Dishonesty creates broad distrust. The cycle creates a messed up feedback loop for everyone.

Rumpus: I’ve heard that there’s a thriving BDSM community in Berlin. Is that why you moved there? What was it like to work as a Pro Domme in Germany? How is it different than working in SF?

Katorga: I decided to go Berlin where professional domination is legal and people accept kink to a degree that’s difficult to put into words.  I went for work, I went for open play parties where I could separate my work from my local relationships, I went to eat some bratwurst, and hoped that the stronger Euro would be more meaningful than the US Dollar.  I got all that and more.

I left the US in a kind of “fuck it, what do I have to lose?” moment, gave up my loft, had someone take care of my pets. I packed everything up. I did well in Berlin. But that has a lot more to do with my reputation as a Dominatrix than anything else.  Berlin has been hit hard by the recession. Anyway, my friends in Berlin are at the top levels of professional domination and known throughout the world for their skills, so it’s lucrative for us.  Sex work is far more acceptable in Berlin as is BDSM.   It’s so open and accepting, it’s pretty fantastic.  People are far more comfortable with their sexuality when they call for a session, it seems.  Not everyone of course, for some there is always a stigma attached.  However, the person who wants to be bound and submissive and undertake the basic elements of SM and fetishism seem far more confident and comfortable in Europe in general, especially in Berlin where there are SM nights every week in a number of different clubs. The German Dominatrix has a pretty serious reputation and a specific appearance and is often older.  A lot of people compare me to this style in the U.S., the seriousness, the leather, the control, the command. One thing that was nice was the inherent respect the Dominatrix commands still in Germany. I felt there was a comfort with the idea that a Dominatrix could be sincere and a professional at the same time.  I feel like in the U.S. many treat you with just a touch of suspicion because it is your profession, because you’re asking for money.  I don’t blame them but many subs have had really poor experiences with lifestyle people basically taking them for money non-consensually.  Some people get uptight if you make money at being a Dominatrix in the “lifestyle scene” and all kinds of silliness.  I don’t exactly get rich on this kind of work, in fact, what I make as a professional has dramatically reduced, almost exponentially over the last several years.  That people begrudge the financial exchange in the U.S. and often in the U.K. as though you’re less sincere for requesting and negotiating that up front can be a bit of a drag.

Rumpus: Is prostitution legal in Berlin? I heard there were vending machines that carry condoms on the street. Is this true?

Katorga: Legalized prostitution can be fantastic.  There is a street in particular that I just love in Berlin where the prostitutes all wear a very similar style of clothing, like a uniform, to distinguish them from pedestrians.  They all wear a waist cincher and platform boots. They line up and talk to the men as they walk by. My impression was they don’t have pimps that own the streets. The women appeared clean and well groomed. They didn’t seem stoned or stressed. They joked with the guys in an easy way. They weren’t aggressive. In Berlin there are brothels that give discounts if you show that you took public transportation to get there or rode your bike because they want to be “green” conscious. The legality of prostitution seems to beget a lot healthier, happier sex worker and therefore a relaxed experience for the client. I’ve spoken to Pro Dommes who used to escort and they mentioned a tax that they paid to the government. If you’re a German citizen, you’re part of the socialized health care system, which means escorts are card carrying union members eligible for health care. There are condom vending machines on the street.

Rumpus: You mentioned the standard of beauty in the sex industry was limited here in California, but in Berlin, the hot chick aesthetic was less critical to your success. Can you say more about that?

Katorga: The beauty ideal as advertised culturally in California in the sex industry is the big breasted, small-wasted, physically un-intimidating woman. In the past, the Pro Domme was an alternative to that ideal.  The Internet goes towards a fetish model ideal/porn type naturally. There’s more lingerie, there’s less leather. I decided to go to the other extreme.  I express my body type exactly how I appear, I accentuate with fetish clothing rather than wearing less clothing.  To me, the Dominatrix is not about objectification and so I present myself as someone who may be worshipped or fetishized but not objectified. There’s nothing girl-next-door about me. A lot of men go for a traditional hot girl aesthetic initially. However, serious or more seasoned BDSM clients want to see me because they’ve been disappointed by the girls who embody one sexually idealized appearance but may not have the studied skill set, the devious mind, the investment. As men mature in their kink, it’s more about a mental ideal or emotional location, the hint of sex against the stark denial of access to it.  Also, you don’t have to age out of the Pro Domme industry, like strippers or escorts. The older Dommes have a leg up and a mystique, especially in Berlin.

Rumpus: Are you emotionally invested in any of your submissives? If so, how does this complicate your life?

Katorga: When I’m diving deep into the abyss of sexual masochism and submission, things are emotional. I am involved. When money changes hands we want to pretend that isn’t true because it feels safer. I’m honest about that, although I rarely get a chance to talk about it with others. People come back to see me a number of times or quite regularly for years. I try to balance their expectations and romanticism. I fall in and out of love every minute with someone’s submission. Also, a submissive can be something I find disgusting one moment and find beautiful and amazing in the next. It’s part of the dynamic. No matter how my boundaries are around my professional life, my romantic life is complicated. My personal life is inherently tied to my professional life.  I do have a life outside the dungeon but as the years roll by I find myself wanting to invest more into being a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought I’d want to settle down and simplify things as I matured, but 11 years later, my life is richer and more complex than ever. I’m fulfilled by real experiences and depth of encounter and I’m not performing a role at this point in my life and career. There are times I desire to be less invested emotionally in my domination sessions, times I wish I could just come into the studio, do the work and leave it at the door and go home.  But the tendrils of this kind of work have gripped my personal life completely.  Nevertheless, I make the transition when I put on my make up and my leather and my boots and my gloves and I try to use the removal of these talismans to balance my life. Having my personal dungeon makes it clear as I walk out the door. Unlike some Pro Dommes, I’ve never submitted. I have no interest in submitting, and most of the things I put on and do to my clients I would never do myself.  I’ve tried in a very controlled and antiseptic way as a safety measure, but not in any fashion where I’ve given up control. We talk about submissives falling for their Domme but rarely touch on the dominant feeling strong emotions for the submissive.  I’m probably blowing my dominant cover by saying this, but what happens for me is a deep and profound respect for my clients that often feels like love. I can’t imagine doing what they do, from booking the appointment to showing up and getting naked in front of a stranger, to submitting to such things.  I love what I do and there’s always that small part of me that loves them for doing it for me because I ask it of them.

Rumpus: Where do you hope this career will lead you in the future? Any projects here in SF? Will you return to Berlin?

Katorga: I would like to see it lead me well into my 60s and hopefully I can find a happy place as a mentor for those interested in becoming professional lifestyle Dommes. At the moment, I have writing in the works and maintain a Femdom forum online. I’m creating video content for sale that tries to encapsulate my particular style of domination, fetishism, and sadism.  I’m in the editing stages now and should be live soon. I’d love to live in both cities but I think I’ll keep San Francisco as my main base. I plan to travel in 2010 and 2011 and Berlin is definitely my number one location, London is on that list, as well as New York and Los Angeles. I’ve recently created a private studio built for my own personal style of domination. This is very exciting and within it I have an overnight cell for those coming from out of the area and those who can’t get their head around the financing of hotel stays on top of the plane ticket.  Now, I can house them overnight in either comfort or discomfort, based upon what we work out in advance.  Beyond that, I would like so much to see women empowered in their sexuality and in their bodies.  For me, being a dominatrix and doing this professionally is one of the most fulfilling and complex creative endeavors I’ve ever undertaken.  It has become my life’s work. My desire is to maintain a space in the world where a little formality, a little SM tradition, leather, and a lot of control reign. I plan to maintain a space in the world where I can act as a kind of beacon for those seeking my refined application of tyranny.

***

Photos by Romy Suskin.

The Rumpus Sex Blog.

More from Antonia Crane’s Recessions Sex Workers series.

Men In Pain from Kink.com.

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