★★★★★ (1 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Papa Smurf.
Of all the Smurfs, Papa is my least favorite. For one thing, what is he running, a cult? I don’t trust cult leaders. I mean I like them. They’re really nice and charming and do good work, but I just don’t trust them for some reason. I can’t put my finger on why.
I also don’t like how Papa Smurf pretty much ripped off his look from Santa. Papa Smurf is just Santa without a shirt or magic pets. I think he should get his own look, especially if there’s a Smurf Santa. What must that guy look like? I can picture him coming down Papa Smurf’s mushroom chimney and thinking he’s seeing his doppelganger. It would be a very confusing Christmas Eve.
And why is Papa Smurf so happy all the time? If I was constantly being chased by a bald giant in a black dress who wanted to turn me and my family into gold, I would be pretty on edge. I guess in that way Papa Smurf is pretty cool – that he can be so mellow in the face of constant danger. Although I guess he’s not the brightest guy. Why doesn’t he just move the village far away from Gargamel? My guess is that on some deeper level Papa Smurf feels like having an enemy gives him purpose.
This is all speculation, of course. It’s hard to know the truth about Papa Smurf because he’s fictional, so all I can truly know is whatever he does in stories. I suppose if I wrote my own story about him then I could know more. There’s no rule that says the only stories that are valid are those written by the original author. That’s why fan fiction is so well regarded.
In the end, I guess I feel bad for Papa Smurf. It’s his final years and he’s trapped in an unhealthy relationship with Gargamel, while having to oversee a village of insecure little Smurfs where each one is trying so desperately to stand out by being a Farmer Smurf or a Kite Smurf. No one is confident enough to simply be a regular Smurf who goes about his day Smurfing.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing bagels.