THE BOWL OF WATER ON MY PORCH
★★★★★ (1 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing the bowl of water on my porch.
A few weeks ago I looked out my window and saw a stray dog wandering around my neighborhood. I love dogs, but I was also worried he might have rabies, so I stayed inside and watched him from where it was safe. When he was far enough away, I quickly stepped onto my porch and put out a bowl of water for him in case he was thirsty.
After a few days, the water was still there, untouched, and the dog was nowhere to be seen. I was a little annoyed that he didn’t drink any because who was he to turn down free water? I never turn down free water even though drinking water from questionable sources has been the cause of many stomach ailments.
The bowl of water is still on my porch and has a bunch of dead bugs floating on the surface. I even had to chase away a bird who decided he would use it as his personal bath. What was once a perfectly good bowl of water has been ruined, and it’s sitting out on my front porch for everyone to see, making me look like some kind of an idiot who can’t tell when a dog is thirsty.
I think the only answer is to replace it with a bowl of clean water, and then rent a thirsty dog to drink it all. I’m not sure what to do with the old water. I might put it in my freezer in case that stray dog comes back. Then, if he’s thirsty next time, I’ll put out a bowl of ice and watch him try in vain to drink it. Hopefully PETA won’t get angry at me for playing a practical joke on a dog.
If you have a thirsty dog, or if you’re not discriminating about what you drink, the bowl of water will be on my porch until midnight tonight.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Princess Diana.