Ted Wilson Reviews the World #137


★★★★★ (2 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing the Invisible Man.

No one knows for sure if the Invisible Man exists or not because no one has seen him. One time I saw a mummy in a museum and I thought it might be the Invisible Man taking a nap. I pulled out my camera to get some evidence of his existence, when I saw a sign that said no photos were allowed. Then I saw another sign that said it was a mummy.

The Invisible Man gained his powers from a science experiment gone wrong, but I kind of envy him. Now he doesn’t need to worry about his appearance. No more bad hair days or having to brush his teeth. He doesn’t need to wear clothes, so fashion is no concern and he must save a ton of money. If he gets cold he can just wear a blanket.

He doesn’t have to pretend to be happy when he’s not, because no one can see his expression. If the Invisible Wife asks him if he liked dinner, and he hated it, he can lie without the disgusted look on his face betraying him.

It must be liberating to live a life where no one can see or judge you, but also pretty lonely. No one smiles at the Invisible Man as they pass him on the street. If he waves, he is ignored. If he says hello, he is met with only a startled look of confusion. I don’t know what he looked like before he turned invisible, so maybe invisible is a step up.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing sperm.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →