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Ted Wilson Reviews the World #175

By

SPANKY
★★★★ (4 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Spanky.

The most famous Little Rascal is named Spanky. Some people think Alfalfa or Buckwheat were more famous but I’m pretty sure it was Spanky. I don’t have any surveys or statistics to back up my claim, but I do have my opinion as a professional reviewer and I think that should be worth something.

Despite his physical shortcomings (he was overweight), Spanky was really good at math. That’s the impression I got anyway. I never once saw him not be able to add or subtract. He never got confused by how many Little Rascals there were. He never said, “Hey, where is everybody?” when everybody was right there. I always looked up to him for this reason, because math is not my strong suit.

Whenever I struggled with a math equation, I would think of Spanky and try my best to imitate him. Only on the inside, not on the outside, because I’ve never been very good with impressions. Unfortunately this tactic never actually improved my math skills, which just goes to show how inimitable Spanky really was.

I’m not entirely sure where the name Spanky came from. He didn’t spank or get spanked an inordinate amount. It seems most likely that his name was supposed to be Sparky, but someone somewhere made a typo. If his name was Sparky, who knows how that might have changed things.

George MacFarland, the actor who played Spanky, was possibly the grandfather of singer and award ceremony host Seth MacFarlane. I say possibly because I’m suspicious of their surnames being spelled differently, and I didn’t have enough time to do any genealogy research. But if you think about it, it’s definitely possible.

I don’t know anything else about George because mostly I just think of him as Spanky, and I think that’s how he would have wanted it. I know that’s how I want it, and since George would never have been Spanky without his fans, I think he owes us all whatever we want.

The one thing about Spanky I would have changed is the giant yarmulke he wore. It was much too big for his head.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing hair.


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