Ted Wilson Reviews the World #183


★★★★★ (5 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing a grain of sand.

For the next six months, each week I will be reviewing a different grain of sand. There are so many grains of sand that have to be reviewed eventually and I figure this is a good way to knock a bunch off the list.

First up is a grain I found that seems to be a pretty good one. I can’t be sure it’s the best until I’ve compared it to all the others, but my gut is telling me it’s one of the better ones.

To the naked eye, this grain of sand looks indistinguishable from any other, which makes it particularly hard to find when it’s accidentally dropped on the beach. (And in case you’re wondering: No, lifeguards do not feel it is their duty to help beachgoers find lost grains of sand even though all the lifeguards are doing is sitting in the sun and staring at the ocean. I felt like Horton, that elephant who heard that Who.)

What sets this grain of sand apart is that if you hold it about half an inch from your eye and squint, it looks like it could be a beige meteor headed right for you. It’s not, so don’t get scared, but it is a thrilling experience. Much more thrilling than one would expect from a grain of sand.

Depending on your feelings about sandcastles, this grain of sand is either great or horrible. On the one hand, if you add water it does not become a grain of mud. I thought it would, but it pretty much just floats there on top of the water. For sandcastle traditionalists, this will be a disappointment.

However, who’s to say a sandcastle has to be made of multiple grains of sand. Why can’t it simply be one grain of sand? In that case, this grain is perfect because it comes as a pre-made sandcastle. No assembly required.

Grains of sand are like the snowflakes of the ground but they don’t melt. They can turn to glass though, when lightning strikes them. If this grain of sand were to be struck by lightning, it would be the world’s tiniest window. Or the world’s tiniest glass castle.

When I was done, I took the grain of sand back to the beach so that others might enjoy it.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing the next grain of sand.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →