Pending Approval for Suicide Barriers on the Golden Gate Bridge, Questions for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors
Chairman, can you update us on fog?
Chairman, how many nets can $76 million buy?
Are the nets locally made?
Are the nets made by union workers?
Are the nets made with nylon or organic cotton?
Chairman, if I have toast at that new coffeeshop off lower Lombard, but I walk the fourteen blocks to get there, how many calories do I net?
Who was displaced by this coffeeshop and surrounding development?
Are you from here, Chairman?
Chairman, why did we stop tracking suicides in 1995?
Chairman, was it the vast right-wing conspiracy?
Is the Council concerned the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge draws more tourist dollars because it is the world’s preeminent suicide bridge?
Chairman, what does it take to be number one?
Chairman, is this an appropriate time to quote early millennial Nelly?
Okay, but can we return to the issue of nets?
If we open in June, are our nets considered anti-gay?
Can the nets be backlit in the prisms of a thousand, moon-catching crystals?
Why are we tabling the issue of nets?
Oh, have we considered the rush hour effects?
Can we bring the nets to a vote?
Have we considered corporate sponsorship?
Chairman, does the Board prefer Google Suicide Prevention Barriers or The Ghirardelli Chocolate Safety Nets?
Anyone have any good flying trapeze jokes?
D. Gilson is the author of Crush (Punctum Books, 2014), with Will Stockton; Brit Lit (Sibling Rivalry, 2013); and Catch & Release (2012), winner of the Robin Becker Prize. His work has appeared in PANK, The Indiana Review, and The Rumpus. Find D. at dgilson.com.