BAD MOMMY BLOG: Barbie Abuse


kaui1So the English University of Bath did a study and found that Barbie abuse is common among girls between 7 and 11. My daughter (4) went through a period of sacrificing babies, but it was short-lived and she hasn’t mutilated Barbies yet.

But when the time comes I’ll support her. Decapitation, torching, cutting, amputating, bring it. I’ll encourage her creativity. The Barbies have already endured waxing, implants, and foot-binding–they can handle a little water boarding, I’m sure.

I only remember cutting hair off of dolls–I wasn’t very creative or aggressive, I guess. In my “study” I found that other people were much more inventive:

“Yes, I beat the snot out of my Barbies when I was younger. Her barn always got stormed by my brother’s G.I. Joe’s, and Barbie always ended up riding her horse off a cliff.”

“Hell, I buried mine… I tied plastic bags as parachutes.. Banged her into cactus… I chopped off her feet and hands…My barbies were always ran over… ( id leave them under the car tires on purpose)… shed be hanging on to the roof or a tree for dear life… I guess I was really abusive.”


“My dad helped me with some very destructive barbie stunts involving fireworks. We sure had fun though.”

Aw, sweet.

“I guess I was the odd ball. I took care of my barbies for the most part… unless you count chewing off their foots. Or the one time that the little boy across the street spit red cool-aid in her hair & stole her so i broke off her arm & shoved it up his nose.”

Puts me to shame. I wonder: what is the reason for this abuse? Aggression, curiosity, science experiments? If Barbie were fat and/or ugly would we abuse her so? Discuss. I bet parents would intervene more if this were true just so we wouldn’t look bad. Like if she were fat and your kid was trampling her with a feral My Little Pony you’d be like (if people were around) “Don’t be so mean. She’s plus-sized. That means there’s more of her to love. Have her ride one of the bigger horses so Pony won’t get so tired and angry.” Or if there was Muslim Barbie you’d be like, “Don’t torture her! She did nothing wrong!”

Other theories I read about: It’s symbolic–they’re saying goodbye to things of their babyhood. That makes sense, I guess yet why such extreme animosity? I don’t remember hurling Goodnight Moon against cacti. Anyway. Your thoughts?


Preparing a victim


Are those boys in the back decapitating a GI Joe?

I'm Kaui. Mother of one, author of House of Thieves, The Descendants and the blog, How to Party with an Infant. I live in Hawaii. I'm working on another novel and child. More from this author →