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Join NOW!So the English University of Bath did a study and found that Barbie abuse is common among girls between 7 and 11. My daughter (4) went through a period of sacrificing babies, but it was short-lived and she hasn’t mutilated Barbies yet. But when the time comes I’ll support her. Decapitation, torching, cutting, amputating, bring […]
...moreToday is Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Sons are also included. I didn’t want to pull my daughter out of school so she could watch me tinker on my computer while watching The View. My husband’s in court in Maui and I doubt he’d want her to interrupt the trial by saying, “Excuse me. I […]
...moreIn case you missed it, the other day Oprah did a show about moms “breaking the silence” about motherhood. Moms talked about their secret lives and feelings. They talked about embarrassing incidents mainly involving their children’s bodily fluids. I don’t know. This whole secret-lives-of-mothers thing seems a bit passe. All you have to do is read […]
...moreJames Ellroy says that, “My Abandonment is an electrically charged, bone-deep, and tender tale of loss and partial redemption.”
...more1. Saturday night party/silent auction for a school. Daniel Kim was there, looking around. My husband goes, “Hey, are you lost?” 2. One of the items up for bid was to be the headmaster for a day. In the program this was most unfortunately titled, “Head For a Day.” When this is presented to a table […]
...more“Ow. That hurts. I’m in pain.” These are a few things Andy (the husband) will never say. After a snowboarding mishap he blacked out, woke and noticed it hurt when his friend kept jabbing him in the stomach. He googled his symptoms and figured he was bleeding internally and he may have ruptured his spleen. Did […]
...moreI have a few more things to say about the princess posse. I didn’t say it all in one post because I have a short attention span and figure you do, too. The princesses aren’t that big a deal. Far worse things await: the Jonas Brothers, for instance, or teen idols with babies and/or meth […]
...moreWithin one minute of meeting my waxer I am on a bed, naked from the waist down and her hand is on my vagina. I’m trying to think of something to say, but all that comes to mind is: “So, have you seen any good ones lately?” She runs over my little remark with remarks […]
...moredisney, princess, writing, outliers, malcolm gladwell, children’s books, bitches
...more“What is this show about?” my four-year-old daughter asks. “Are they going to dance?” “In a way,” I say. “A mating dance. It’s a game. See, these girls compete to marry the boy. In each episode they have to impress him so they can win a rose. If you don’t win a rose you’re eliminated.” […]
...moreMy first preschool tour was not a good experience. It was going okay until I realized I had dirty underwear balled into the leg of my pants. At first I thought the back of my leg was swollen, but then I felt the bump slide a little lower and realized what was happening. What was happening […]
...moreAn Introduction to Bad Mommy I’m not a bad mother. That title is just a cheap teaser and something to differentiate myself from the mamma masses. It’s interesting. I’m not going to call myself Normal Mommy or Bored Mommy or Cop Out Mom, though all three would be accurate at times. Bad Mommy implies that […]
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