ATLAS SHRUGGED
★★★★★ (4 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Atlas Shrugged.
When I picked up a copy of Atlas Shrugged it was admittedly for the hot sex scenes I’d heard about. But skimming through to locate these scenes I accidentally read other portions of the book.
In this amazing story, all the cool people use gold bricks for money. I couldn’t agree with this idea more. For one thing, bills are too easy to lose and I hate when they’re defaced with crude mustaches or meaningless babble. Gold bricks are the way to go. If not for their fanciness, then because they’re so hard to carry. If I leave the house with a wallet full of money I’m sure to spend it all, but having to carry my currency in the form of gold bricks really limits the amount I can stuff into my pockets. Gold brick currency is so pragmatic for so many reasons.
It would be helpful if this book described where to find gold bricks. My bank didn’t have any and neither did the jewelery store. (I don’t know what they melt their jewelry down from.) I even asked some cool looking people, just in case, but they had no idea what I was talking about.
All the cool people in this story leave the world and move to a secret land only they can find. I think it was called Coolland or Coolia or something. When all the cool people move to this land, the losers of society panic and have no idea what to do. It’s not that the cool people are being mean, they just want to teach the losers a lesson. I think that lesson is that cool people are more important than losers, and losers should really stop being such losers. There’s no reason everyone can’t be cool if they just put their mind to it.
Just one look at this book and you know it’s good because of how thick it is. If there’s any greater indicator as to the value of a book than length, I don’t know what it is. Except maybe if there’s a quote on the cover from a famous person, which this also had. It was from Alan Greenspan, who sounds familiar.
Atlas Shrugged really should remove the sex scenes though. They were just too sexy. I found them so exciting that I had to stop and cool down before continuing to read. I think maybe this Ryan Rand guy should try to separate his writing into erotic and fantasy categories.
3 responses
Ted, if you were just a few years younger, I’d encourage you to enter this thoughtful (and hilarious) essay into the annual Atlas Shrugged essay contest. http://essaycontest.aynrandnovels.com/AtlasShrugged.aspx
If there’s anything we need more of in this world, it’s writings that remind us that there’s no point in doing things for the “public good” or living in “societies” and “communities” amongst “family” and “friends.” Now, excuse me. I’m going to fly home to my castle in the sky.
Thanks for the tip, Wary. According to the contest rules, grad students are eligible, so I’ll be entering!
Man, I forgot about the Atlas Shrugged essay contest.
I am going to suggest that my friend Mitsu submit his blog post on why Ayn Rand was unbelievably wrong in the stupidest possible way.
I’ve tried to tell him that the sex scenes were the real reason why every teenager on earth seems to think Ayn Rand was some sort of genius whose thought is worth taking seriously. Sex really is dangerous.
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