DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column: A Special Request


Dear sweet peas,

As long-time readers of this column know, it’s my tradition that every time I reach a “new decade” of columns I write shorter answers to several questions instead of the usual longer, single question column.

We’ve arrived at column #90, but I’d like to do something a bit different this time. I want you to help me write the column—not by sending me your questions, but rather by sending me your answers. I’ll choose a few of your answers (or more if length permits) and compile them into column #90, which will be published next week, on Thanksgiving Day.

My question is simple, but complex: for what are you grateful? (And why, if you feel so inclined.) Every year when I was growing up my mother asked whoever sat at her Thanksgiving table to answer that question and we did, each of us taking a turn, even when my siblings and I were teenagers and we grumbled about having to do so. It’s a tradition I’ve carried into my own family, one I’ve come to cherish.

My inbox is full of your sorrows and complaints, of all the things you want and never got, the things that you lost or can’t understand. I’ll turn my attention back to those concerns on December 1, but for now, fill my inbox with what you have and what you treasure. The dark and the light. The sad and the sweet.

Please do your best to be brief, though if your gratitude demands a bit more space, that’s okay too. You may put your name on your answer or make up a name. You may email me your answer via my anonymous form at the bottom of this page or you may send it to me directly at [email protected]. Either way, please write the word “gratitude” in the subject line, so I know what it is. The deadline for submissions is 9am PST Tuesday, November 22nd.

I can’t wait to read what you send me.