Hey ladyfriend, are you going through a breakup? Is your job really hard right now? Is your life nothing more than all-consuming darkness and regret?
Then check out these handcrafted household inspirations for the cynical woman in need of a pick-me-up:
“Life is darkest before the dawn or whatever,” etched on a fancy mirror to mount on the ceiling above your bed.
“Life is a gift. Sometimes a shitty one but a gift nonetheless” lavender-scented bathroom candles.
“There are footprints in the sand, maybe it’s a spiritual force but also you have feet, so you could be alone” lilac bath mat.
“I will choose my destiny but given that I don’t have control over a lot of stuff in the world, this may or may not work out and I guess I’m okay with that” butterfly mug.
“This is not the end of your happiness” plug-in fresh scent room deodorizer.
“Fuck it! But in a positive, letting-go way and not in a sad way. Right?” canvas shopping bag.
“We’re still here and somewhat functioning human beings, so I guess we can take solace in that” personalized stationery.
“I become better each day in every way. Unless there’s a Golden Girls marathon on, then I’m probably not leaving the house. But I’m a grown-ass woman who’s allowed to make that call” oversized pajama shirt. On the back is an image of a squished cat, like you sat on it, but don’t worry, it’s on there ironically, and not as a comment on your size. In fact, it’s to show you’re comfortable enough in your own skin to rock that kitsch.
“It gets batter! (as in, I feel like eating cookie dough today)” cookie dough.
“I am beautiful. ‘Cause, seriously, there are millions of people in the world, and surely I’m more attractive than a lot of them. I’m not saying that to put other people down. I’m just being realistic” wicker footstool.
Items will be sold on Etsy because that’s where things made by a lesbian are legally required to go.
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8 responses
I love this. So perfectly on point I had to share it with nearly every woman I know. Thank you!
aaaww. So great – in a comforting, hot orange blossom tea with geisha girl mug and hello kitty coaster kind of way.
This is awesome! I am definitely going to share this with my clients! Thank you for sharing!
this was great!!
This made my day !
It is what it is, unless of course it’s not what I want IT to be but could let it be what it is for now until I get what I want — lotus tea cozy.
hehehe.
As a white, middle class woman of weight, I enjoyed this article very much. Ms. Brito’s lyrical turns of phrase and the visual imagery imbued in her writing made me immediately identify with her pain, which then sent my fragile sense of self plunging into the abyss, which I haven’t experienced since going off Zoloft two years ago. I am even more impressed with how she has managed to profit from her personal pain by selling handcrated, lesbocentric items on Etsy. Bravo Ms. Brito…Bravo!!
You don’t have to be a woman, gay or transgendered, to find these lovely gifts appealing. I would be happy to carry them in my store chains, Kitsch For The Rich or The Tickle Barrel. Contact my buyer, Bernie Swelling. He should be around here somewhere.
Love this! Hilarious!
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