CIGARETTE$ 4 GOLD
★★★★★ (5 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Cigarette$ 4 Gold.
In the exciting world of start-ups that can bring taxis to your door or feed you grilled cheese sandwiches, no start-up has captured the world’s imagination the way Cigarette$ 4 Gold has!
No longer do people have to sell their gold to one of those sketchy 800 numbers, just to end up with some money that they still have to use to buy things. Cigarette$ 4 Gold can turn your gold directly into actual cigarettes! This is not a literal transformation, like some kind of reverse alchemy but it’s as simple as that!
I took some gold I had sitting around that I didn’t even know where it came from, sent it off to Cigarette$ 4 Gold and within a couple of weeks I had a carton of cigarettes. And they paid for the shipping!
Now I don’t actually smoke, but that doesn’t have to prevent me from using the service, because maybe someday I’ll start smoking, and it will be a lot easier to do if I already have some cigarettes. No one knows what the future holds, except for fortune tellers, and mine says she couldn’t see my future because it was shrouded in smoke. Cigarette smoke is my guess.
Even if I’m wrong, what if I end up in prison? I don’t plan to commit any crimes but innocent people do get convicted. In prison gold is worthless. Do you ever hear of people sneaking gold into prisons or trading gold for favors? Maybe in an Objectivist prison, but in the average prison the currency is cigarettes!
The cigarettes you receive in exchange for your gold are Cigarette$ 4 Gold brand, not Old Gold as I had expected. Because Cigarette$ 4 Gold brand cigarettes are not available in stores, this makes them rare and hard to get – most likely a collector’s item, and possibly more valuable than the gold itself!
One criticism is that smoking can give you cancer but gold can’t. While this appears to be true based on what science currently tells us, remember that there was a time when science told us that everything revolved around the Earth.
If you have some gold you don’t need, or even if you do need it, you might need cigarettes more. Get yours today!
Disclaimer: This review is sponsored by Uruguay Management Assessment Holdings Inc., a partial investor of Cigarettes4gold LLC.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Apartheid.
