ACORNS
★★★★★ (4 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing acorns.
If it weren’t for acorns, we wouldn’t have squirrels, and squirrels make for good friends. One week there was a squirrel who was my best friend because I was going through some hard times and I could tell him anything without being judged. He might have actually been several squirrels because I can’t tell them apart. The point is: thanks, acorns!
Acorns are the nuts of acorn trees, from which more acorns grow. They come in basically two parts. There’s the top part that looks like a little beanie. I’m not sure what the point of this is. Then there’s the bottom part which is edible. The beanie is so silly looking and makes me laugh.
Acorns aren’t all fun and games though. Have you ever gotten hit in the eye by one? Don’t. It hurts. It hurts physically, and depending on who threw it, it can hurt emotionally, too. But that’s not the acorn’s fault.
I believe that in ancient times the Native Americans used acorns as a form of currency. That’s part of the reason why I’ve been hoarding acorns and burying them in the backyard just like the squirrel(s) taught me to do. Now if the Native Americans ever take their land back, I’ll be prepared to survive the new world. The other reason I’ve been hoarding acorns is none of your business.
Next time you see an acorn on the ground, please think of me and pick it up. And then mail it to me because I’ll put it to good use. If you want the acorn back at some point that’s fine too. I can be your acorn bank.
Speaking of banks, they don’t accept acorns. The teller might say the bank accepts acorns, but when you lift up a bag of them and place it on the counter and several of them spill out, suddenly she’ll get this look on her face and say she was kidding because she thought you were kidding.
I’m disappointed that acorns are not as widely appreciated as I think they should be.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Geraldine.
