The Bart Oates Sad Mall Nail Salon Shrine Mystery


In a nail salon tucked deep in a failing mall in South Jersey, there’s a small shrine to retired NFL player Bart Oates.

The story behind it “is not the sexiest solution to the Bart Oates Sad Mall Nail Salon Shrine mystery, but it’s representative of how things are in South Jersey.”

Fans of Fantasy Football for Poets take note, if you need something to hold you over until J. Ryan Stradal’s Superbowl commentary: Tom Keiser has the whole story at the Classical.

Lauren O'Neal is an MFA student at San Francisco State University. Her writing has appeared in publications like Slate, The New Inquiry, and The Hairpin. You can follow her on Twitter at @laureneoneal. More from this author →