BUNK BEDS
★★★★★ (3 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing bunk beds.
Of all the bed types, by far the loneliest is the bunk bed. You would think the opposite, but with other beds a second person is only implied. With the bunk bed it’s very clear what’s supposed to be happening.
I got bunk beds when my wife passed away so I could have sleepovers without it being awkward. It still was. Less so because of the bunk beds, and more because I would start sobbing in my sleep. The sobbing was unrelated to my wife’s passing. I’ve always been a sleep sobber.
Bunk beds come with a free ladder. It’s not a very tall ladder but is perfect for reaching things in the cupboard, or climbing to the top of very small trees. In truth, the bunk bed doesn’t need a ladder. The bed that really should come with something is the waterbed, which should come with a towel.
One of the most famous bunkbeds was on the hit TV show Diff’rent Strokes. Usually bunk beds are for middle class people trying to find ways to save space and money. In this case it was a rich man who chose bunk beds for two stary boys he adopted. It seems strange that he wouldn’t have given each child his own room since he was so rich. I hate to say it but I wonder if on some level he figured since they were just orphans they’d be happy with whatever they got.
If you ever find yourself having to sleep in a bunk bed, definitely choose the top layer. It’s safer. This may seem counter intuitive but I’d rather fall from the top than be crushed by the top collapsing. If you look at the annual records of people being killed by the top bed collapsing on them, it’s a much larger number than you would think. I don’t know the exact number because I can’t find it at the library, so if you do look at it please send it to me and I will include it in this review.
By the way, I am selling my bunk bed. Please also contact me if you are interested. It’s a reasonable price and I’m open to negotiation. If you don’t live in the Boston area I can have it shipped to you. The USPS can deliver anywhere.
Please join me next week when I will be reviewing a glass of orange juice.
