THE CALIFORNIA DROUGHT
★★★★★
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing the California drought.
Right now there is a shortage of water in California. One of the worst in its history. The people in the cities may be fortunate enough to not notice it, but it’s those in the rest of the state are being hit hard. I’m surprised by this because of California’s close proximity to the Pacific Ocean, which is almost nothing but water. According to my calculations it’s about 80% water, 10% fish, and 10% mystery.
Given the severity of the drought, I would expect more of an attempt to come up with innovative solutions. There are so many things salt water can be used for.
In restaurants they often bring the customers a complimentary glass of water that many do not even touch. Why not make it a glass of salt water? If the customer drinks it, say, “Oops.” Then replace it with real water.
Car washes could easily be done with salt water. I feel like the salt would work to exfoliate the exterior of the car and make it extra clean. The lingering scent would make being stuck in traffic seem more like a day at the beach.
And what about firemen? Those guys are literally spraying water all over the place. Might as well make it salt water.
California can also trade salt water with states who have too much fresh water. Many landlocked states would love to fill a lake with salt water for a weekend just to have their own miniature ocean. That would be a big draw for tourism.
I know that my ideas might cost a lot of money or have unforeseen consequences, but the only way to find out is to try. I never would have learned I could drive two cars at once by putting one in neutral and pushing it with the other if I never tried.
The many uses of salt water is only one direction to solve this crisis. Here are a few other ideas right off the top of my head that no one has tried:
- Everyone pee on the sidewalk. Dogs do it all the time and no one stops them.
- Silicon Valley is in California. Have them make an app for people who want to shower together to conserve water. People will definitely use this because it means nudity with strangers which is a big draw.
- Damn up all the rivers. Lots of them leak into other states or right into the ocean.
I’ll be excited to see which of my ideas works best!
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Peter Piper.
