MOVIE THEATER POPCORN
★★★★★
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing movie theater popcorn.
There’s no denying that movie theater popcorn is the best popcorn. It goes movie theater popcorn, homemade popcorn, microwaved popcorn, pre-popped dollar store popcorn, and then popcorn-flavored jelly beans. In the future someone will invent a better type of popcorn that is popped while still on the cob! Only rich people will be able to afford it.
It’s unclear what exactly makes movie theater popcorn so good. I suspect Monsanto has patented a very delicious corn seed that their top farmers invented. The butter helps too. It’s probably butter made from one of the world’s most delicious animals – the pig. I bet it’s pig milk butter.
When I watch a movie at home I always want movie theater popcorn but the closest movie theater is too far and they won’t let me set up my TV and VCR in the lobby there. That’s when I got an idea!
When a new company ruins an old one it’s called “disrupting.” I want to disrupt the popcorn and movie companies by creating a service where you press a button on your computer and then someone who really needs the money will pick up popcorn from a movie theater and deliver it to you. Not only can I get fresh movie theater popcorn that way but I can make a new friend in the process. If we hit it off I can invite the friend in to watch the movie with me. Hopefully it’s one he or she hasn’t seen before.
If I can’t get investors to back this idea (by the way if you are an investor please contact me about this), my other idea is to invent a machine like what the movie theaters have but small enough to pop popcorn right at home. I’m surprised no one has invented that yet. Please don’t anyone steal this idea!
When I see popcorn on the floor of a movie theater at the end of a movie I get really sad at what a delicious waste that is. Almost delicious enough to eat it off the floor. Instead I usually collect it and give it to someone who doesn’t know where its been.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing peppercorn.
