OKCUPID
★★★★★
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing OkCupid.
I recently joined the romantic website OkCupid. It’s a website for meeting dates. I’ve met several very lovely women, though none who I wanted to kiss. One of them was good for hugging but when she wouldn’t let go I got frightened and a waitress had to intervene.
Decades ago, before the internet, online dating was done through a dating service. You would write down things about yourself on a piece of paper and a professional would compare those details with the details of someone else. Then you would sit back and wait and hope someone might like you.
Now OKCupid has cut out the middle man. It allows you to connect directly to who may be the person you see on the screen. Some people misrepresent themselves either because they are a man with unusual proclivities or they are a group of teenage boys who entice you to meet and then laugh at you from the bushes.
In the interest of transparency, I used a shirtless picture of myself in my OkCupid page so people would know exactly what to expect.
After a month of OkCupid, I had gone on 127 dates. Of those, 15 didn’t show up, 12 made out with someone else right in front of me, 9 stole my wallet (the last one stole the decoy wallet I started carrying after the eighth time the real one was stolen), 3 bared a striking resemblance to my late wife, 1 was rushed to the ER (not my fault), and zero were a good match for me.
Although there was no love connection, I did learn a lot. For instance, one woman stressed the importance of not listening to haters. Another woman introduced me to Facebook fanpages and suggested I follow hers. She said she would follow me back.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing scrubs.
