Jennifer Byrne really loves referring to herself in the third person while bragging about her literary and comedic credentials. In this way, she will convey to you that her writing has appeared on McSweeney's.net,, Mental_Floss, Opium Magazine, Per Contra, and some other places, and that she was a finalist for the 2007 Robert Benchley Humor Prize. Jennifer Byrne also needs to borrow $12, because Jennifer is getting very hungry and wants you to buy Jennifer a pizza, now.
Dear Future Dads, So, you’re expecting a baby (by “expecting” I mean “dreading,” and by “a baby,” I mean “the consequences of using that glow-in-the-dark condom from 1989”)! That’s wonderful!