Posts by author
Kaui Hemmings
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Barbie Abuse
So the English University of Bath did a study and found that Barbie abuse is common among girls between 7 and 11. My daughter (4) went through a period of sacrificing babies, but it was short-lived and she hasn’t mutilated…
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Take Your Daughter to Your Cubicle!
Today is Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Sons are also included. I didn’t want to pull my daughter out of school so she could watch me tinker on my computer while watching The View. My husband’s in court in Maui…
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BAD MOMMY: The Truth About Motherhood! blah, blah, blah
In case you missed it, the other day Oprah did a show about moms “breaking the silence” about motherhood. Moms talked about their secret lives and feelings. They talked about embarrassing incidents mainly involving their children’s bodily fluids. I don’t know.…
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Bad Mommy’s Shorty Q&A with Peter Rock
James Ellroy says that, “My Abandonment is an electrically charged, bone-deep, and tender tale of loss and partial redemption.”
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Six Reasons Why The Bad Mommy Will Never Be A Good Socialite
1. Saturday night party/silent auction for a school. Daniel Kim was there, looking around. My husband goes, “Hey, are you lost?” 2. One of the items up for bid was to be the headmaster for a day. In the program this…
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Why Can’t Men Say, “Ow?”
“Ow. That hurts. I’m in pain.” These are a few things Andy (the husband) will never say. After a snowboarding mishap he blacked out, woke and noticed it hurt when his friend kept jabbing him in the stomach. He googled his…
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Princesses, part II
I have a few more things to say about the princess posse. I didn’t say it all in one post because I have a short attention span and figure you do, too. The princesses aren’t that big a deal. Far…
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Happy Valentine’s Day—I Give You My Vagina
Within one minute of meeting my waxer I am on a bed, naked from the waist down and her hand is on my vagina. I’m trying to think of something to say, but all that comes to mind is: “So,…
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BAD MOMMY BLOG: Princesses, part I
disney, princess, writing, outliers, malcolm gladwell, children’s books, bitches
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BAD MOMMY: Watching The Bachelor with my Daughter
“What is this show about?” my four-year-old daughter asks. “Are they going to dance?” “In a way,” I say. “A mating dance. It’s a game. See, these girls compete to marry the boy. In each episode they have to impress…
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BAD MOMMY: How to Get Your Child into School Without Showing Your Underwear
My first preschool tour was not a good experience. It was going okay until I realized I had dirty underwear balled into the leg of my pants. At first I thought the back of my leg was swollen, but then I…