FUNNY WOMEN #99: Modern Vice
We were tired of being good, so we decided to start sinning. We didn’t want to kill anybody or steal anything, so we stuck to modern vice.
Funny Women
235 posts
Funny Women is a column for literary, feminist humor writing by non-men. Previous pieces have been anthologized out of wedlock in The Best American Nonrequired Reading, Oxford University Press’s Humor: A Reader for Writers, and Reader’s Digest. Edited by Elissa Bassist author of Hysterical. Submit your funny writing here.
FUNNY WOMEN #98: Classic Novels Rejected by Modern Publishing Houses
How about adding a scene where Elizabeth Bennet accidentally places the winning bid on Mr. Darcy during a charity bachelor auction?
FUNNY WOMEN #97: The Whitest Album
It was a time in my life when I was frequently “tagged,” along with other Netizens who seemed to keep in touch and do good works. I did no good works, but I tried to keep in touch.
FUNNY WOMEN #96: Explanation of Benefits
This notice is to inform you that the procedure/treatment performed on January 2, 2013 is not covered under your health plan by reason code L0L.
FUNNY WOMEN #95: Confessions of a Pet Chimpanzee Attackee
You see, I am a survivor of a chimpanzee attack—an attack by my pet chimpanzee, my darling Bentley—and yes, fine, I suppose you could say he ate my face.
FUNNY WOMEN #94: An Actual Missed Connection
This is a missed connection, and as such I am very sorry that our connection was missed, or maybe I’m not, I don’t know, because I’ve never met you.
FUNNY WOMEN #93: Revised Pinterest FAQs
Pinterest is a million-page woman’s magazine written by everyone you’ve ever met and edited by no one.
FUNNY WOMEN #92: How to Almost Probably Not Die of Rabies
Probably you will not get rabies if your dog licks your face, and you remember afterwards that the previous morning he may or may not have bitten a shrew.
FUNNY WOMEN #91: Shower Gifts for the Traditional Bride
What to do to when faced with the task of buying a shower gift for the bride of a “traditional marriage”?
FUNNY WOMEN #90: New Ways to Summit Everest
A blind man, Erik Weihenmayer, summited Everest in 2001. But no blues musician named Blind Everest Summiter has ever summited Everest.
FUNNY WOMEN #88: Retrospective Open Letters to the Ones Who Got Away
To the men who got away: Hey, let's talk about it now that I have a fresh perspective.