Funny Women
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FUNNY WOMEN: Submission Guidelines You Wish You’d Read Earlier
The words “behoove,” “cordially,” and “bedpan” are not looked upon favorably by the Dusty Jake staff.
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FUNNY WOMEN: It’s Me, Dead Girl!
I just want to share a little bit about myself—because despite the fact that my horrific death is the point of the show you’re enjoying, you’ve never actually heard my voice.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Other Contenders for 2017’s Word of the Year
Fückit: When you’ve had enough, more than enough, but somehow enough is never enough, and I put wine in my cereal now.
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FUNNY WOMEN #157: Habits of Less Successful Writers
So much can be learned from the writing habits of successful writers, but what can we learn from the ones who aren’t doing quite as well?
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FUNNY WOMEN #156: Fall Activities Adjusted for Global Warming
Due to rising sea levels, most orchards have been flooded. Instead of apple picking, grab a canoe large enough for the whole family and climb aboard.
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FUNNY WOMEN #155: Feminine and Masculine Words
A helpful trick can be to picture feminine words (pumpkin latte, duvet cover) as butterflies. Soft, delicate, hard to catch, and useless except near flowers. Masculine words are more like knives.
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FUNNY WOMEN #154: Visa Status of Disney Princesses
President Trump has suspended all H-1B visa processing, and He would like us to reevaluate several candidates who gained entry under the fashion-model exception.
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FUNNY WOMEN #153: So You Want to Be a Woman
If the eyes are the window to the soul, then the drapes should match the wallpaper. Fix what you got and then flaunt what you fixed!
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Funny Women #152: Features of the Groundbreaking American Writers Museum
We’ll be open as long as the National Endowment for the Arts is.
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That’s What She Said
Have you submitted a piece to “Funny Women” and it wasn’t quite the right fit for the column? Have you always wanted to write for “Funny Women” or Daily Shouts or McSweeney’s Internet Tendency? Our very own Funny Women Editor Elissa…
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FUNNY WOMEN #150: A Little More About Customer #7611594
As for your offer to help me make sure I am getting the right gear, this is another question that troubles me hourly. Am I getting the right gear?
