The Best Metaphors Ever

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“She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.”

“It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.”

“He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.”

“He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.”

Some “Funny metaphors used in high school essays.” (via @jessfleming)


Seth Fischer's writing has appeared or is forthcoming in Best Sex Writing 2013, Buzzfeed, PankGuernica, Lunch Ticket, Gertrude, and elsewhere. His Rumpus piece "Notes from a Unicorn" was listed as a notable essay in The Best American Essays 2013. He teaches and tutors at Antioch University Los Angeles and Writing Workshops Los Angeles, and he was a Jentel Arts Residency Program Fellow. Find more writing of his writing at www.seth-fischer.com, or reach him @sethfischer. More from this author →