★★★★★ (5 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing circles.
I like circles a lot. I include spheres in the same family as circles. The mathematician across the street tells me spheres are not circles. I say he’s a square. Ha ha ha! That’s my joke but you can use it.
One of the most appealing aspects of a circle is how it never ends. It’s like a two-sided Möbius strip and with the mystery of an inside. Have you ever tried trapping an ant inside a circle? No problem. Now try trapping him inside a Möbius strip. he’ll just walk along the wall until he’s suddenly on the outside. That’s why every plan for a Möbius strip shaped prison has been shot down.
It’s probably no coincidence that a lot of my favorite things are circles. Eyes. Those are circles. Beach balls, too. Who doesn’t like beach balls? Snowballs. I love a good snowball. And hula hoops? Don’t even get me started on those things. How do they stay up? When will the spinning stop? Should I be aroused by the way that girl is swinging her hips?
Some of my least favorite things are non circles. Hitler wasn’t a circle. The cat that keeps getting into my car and peeing and having babies? It’s cat-shaped.
Ultimately I guess everything in the universe is a circle if you get right down to it. Hitler was a bunch of little circles in the form of atoms, and even the big stuff like planets are circles. I’m willing to bet the universe is just as round. And if God exists in a physical form, I’ll bet he’s a big circle. I’m not calling God fat, I’m just saying he’s probably really round.
The opposite of a circle is a square. Maybe not mathematically, but in spirit. That’s why I get a little angry when I see a square. It seems like it’s flaunting it non-circularness.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Apartheid.