On Tuesday afternoon at a diner in Echo Park, I interviewed a writer and he told me a story, violent and personal. He told the story suddenly, while I was smiling.
Are you serious? I said, which seems to be that very stupid thing people say when they’re stunned.
It was the beginning of the interview and I looked down at my notebook. I flipped through the pages but all my questions seemed flat.
Have I never told you that story before? he asked.
I shook my head no.
Are you OK?
Yes, I’m OK, I said because I wasn’t OK.
***
Ted Wilson reviews crying.
In case you missed it: we love Isaac.
***
As he took a big bite of his cheeseburger, I asked the writer a question and he got a look on his face like he didn’t want to answer the question and if he was going to answer, he wasn’t going to play nice.
Don’t do that, I said. Don’t you dare give me a snarky answer.
He kept chewing and I said, I’ve read your other interviews and you come off as snarky and cranky.
I come off as cranky because people are asking me questions. He said, Now I forgot the question.
***
I’m interviewing Princess Donna soon, so I reread The Rumpus Oral History Project with Lorelei Lee. I wondered if it was worth imitating that particular project. Instead of asking her specific questions, maybe I can just ask Donna to tell me about her life. I told her I stitched more chapbooks of the Donna essay and she told me she wanted to sell them on her site, which seemed sweet to me.
I like to tell people I’m asexual. I’m not sure it’s true but it could be true. Stephen Elliott’s Random Thoughts About Intimacy Cloaked in a Review of the Movie (A)sexual. A couple years ago, Stephen read the essay at The Echo for The Rumpus event in Los Angeles. I was so happy he chose to read that particular essay. Before he left I said, I’m glad you read that. It made me feel better about myself. He looked at me like he was surprised.
Sometimes I think about this line, “Everyone wants to believe they’re the specialest one. Hence Love at first sight, etc. I didn’t want to go into it. It was all such a lie and I was tired of that lie.” Other times, I think of this question, “If I have all this desire, how can I be asexual?”
***
I just arrived to San Francisco and my friend picked me up from the airport and drove me to his work in the Mission District. He works at a tech company and he has to finish projects. I am always working or want to be working so I feel comfortable to be beside him in a spacious office with computers, snacks, and a great view of this beautiful city. I’m in San Francisco because I’m reading at a Portuguese Artist Colony event tomorrow. All the readers are from Los Angeles, actually. Anyway you should come and say hi.
I love the colors in Yumi’s comic today.
