Rumpus Funny Women editor Elissa Bassist rocks the New York Times Modern Love column.

“That online conversation was our last. Once he signed off, he was gone for good. At that moment, those children we had planned died, or were never born, or could have been born if things had gone differently. It was like when we planned our breakfast nook, and we agreed we both hated crosswords and wouldn’t be doing them on Sunday mornings. We wouldn’t be doing this and we wouldn’t be doing that.”

Jeanette Winterson has the best-named memoir: Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? She spoke about the story behind the title during her reading at McNally Jackson bookstore in NYC:

When Jeanette W. was fifteen, she fell in love with another girl and couldn’t hide it. Her mother, referred to as “Mrs. Winterson,” staged an exorcism (no joke). Of exorcisms, Jeanette W. says, “You go in feeling strong, and you leave feeling the devil is inside you.”

Mrs. Winterson issued an ultimatum: “Give up the girl or leave home.” As Jeanette W. packed her bags, Mrs. Winterson asked, “Why are you doing this?” Jeanette W. said, “To be happy.” Mrs. Winterson then asked, “Why be happy when you could be normal?” …more

Are you trying to write today but feeling distracted/unmotivated/lonely? If so, perfect. We’re taking “Write Like a Motherfucker,” Dear Sugar’s #48 column one step beyond…

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Even though I’m Jewish, I never went to summer camp. …more

Feministing, the esteemed online feminist community, highlighted our very own Elissa Bassist’s interview with sex-positive feminist Susie Bright (which is still very smart and very funny, if you haven’t dabbled yet).

Thanks for the shout-out, Feministing. The love is mutual!

Susie Bright, sex-positive feminist, writer, revolutionary, and my first tongue-kiss with a woman recently released her memoir Big Sex Little Death.

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Some advice for writers from our own Elissa Bassist:

[Some of this is stolen. But I won’t tell you what because I want to impress you.] …more

Elissa Bassist shares her personal notes after having a conversation with Jennifer Egan: …more

The Rumpus Women, Vol. I contributors have been on tour. We’ve read in bookstores, bars, and family rooms in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Brooklyn, and Denver. The readings have been awe-inspiring: smart, funny, charming, sad, honest, brave.

In case you couldn’t make a reading or live in Iowa, Rumpus Women will be on Firedoglake Book Salon, an online news site that hosts author discussions every Saturday and Sunday. …more

Loads of people have slept with authors or well-read individuals, but what would it be like to sleep with a book? …more

A hearty bonjour and aloha to all you lovers of arts & letters,

I may be old-fashioned, but I prefer not to keep a day job when the winsome muse of words calls to me, so I will be seeking a patron for the next 6 months to 10 years, depending on how long it takes to birth this literary love child. …more

Not only are women not funny, but also they don’t know anything about music. Verify this:

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Scientists have identified the gene that inclines individuals toward excessive Post-It use. Three out of five British women misread the word “aviator” as “vibrator” after prolonged exposure to violent news broadcasts. Non-mammalian school mascots were associated with lower student body morale. …more

“Feeling down? Make a Self-Esteem Shell Collage! Write a poem on a piece of paper about you and the ocean and about how you feel about the ocean and why you are special and of course the ocean and then surround the poem with whatever shells you collected that day so you will always remember it. …more

Two funny women interviewed each other about their lives. They also happen to be sisters. They were raised like twins, best friends, by a hovering, yet distracted Jewish mother and a drama-and-opera-prone psychiatrist father. …more

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE RUMPUS WOMEN, VOL. I!

We’re delighted to present the introduction to the first and most extraordinary book ever published by The Rumpus. …more

At the end of The Social Network, a new indie flick that no one has ever heard of, I turned to my friend, and out of every intelligent comment I could have made, I said, “There was so much testosterone in the movie that I feel fucked six ways sideways.” …more

Notes I took on what Lorrie Moore said while in conversation with Deborah Treisman, The New Yorker‘s fiction editor, that I felt selfish keeping to myself:

How to become a writer:
-You can’t carve solitude out of loneliness–you need people to get away from them. …more

One woman’s search for everything across India, Iran, and Iceland… excerpts from my extraordinary upcoming novel of self-discovery: …more

Dear Sugar,

I write like a girl. I write about my lady life experiences, and that usually comes out as unfiltered emotion, unrequited love, and eventual discussion of my vagina as metaphor. …more

“I really believe that most writers in America have taken on this idea that we’re never going to get paid–and so we accept so little for what we do, when what we do is so valuable. And it’s wanted.” –Ali Liebegott

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Like most women, I am gay for Sarah Haskins. Unlike most women, I got to interview her.

Here are some things you should know about Sarah to get the most out of our interview: …more

“I love you” is a cliché.

I wonder if I’ll use this cliché again.

The lights are out and I’m typing on my elbows and it hurts so I must stop.

I don’t stop. I clutch my t-shirt and try to get my breathing under control but am unable to do so and worry about passing out and suffocating, alone, for no reason other than Lorrie Moore. …more

Elissa Bassist, editor/curator of The Rumpus’s Funny Women series (submission guidelines here) is a new contributor to Salon’s Broadsheet. Her first offering is titled “Sleep Your Way to a Book Deal.” Here’s a taste:

As a young writer, I dream of one day writing the next great American memoir. But it’s starting to seem that I’ll have a better shot if I aim for writing the next great American mistress memoir.

Check out the whole thing. It’s great.

Submission Guidelines
by Jane Roper

Dear Writer:

Thank you for your interest in our publication. …more

Some people say men aren’t funny. In her memoir I Don’t Care About Your Band, comedienne Julie Klausner says it a few times: (1) “I was tired of pretending I thought he was funny”; (2) “I knew I was funnier and smarter than [insert man's name here].”

Here are a few things to know about Julie Klausner that will help you get the most out of this interview: …more

This week, Rumpus books reviewed Terry Castle’s book of essays, interviewed Elaine Showalter, wrote about Nabokov, and talked about grief and Hamlet. Come see what you missed.  …more

“On a more serious note, I don’t think women have enough space for expression. Some people like to believe women don’t poop. This is absurd. I poop an insane amount. I just pooped, in fact. Hear that men of the world? I poop. Get over it.”

The Rumpus’s own Elissa Bassist, editor of the Funny Women column, interviewed by PANK Magazine here. We’re so proud.

Tina Fey once said, “I think we can all agree that it’s a great time to be a lady in America, and not just because of that new yogurt that helps you poop. Although, on the serious, thank you for that yogurt. Now let’s take a look at the stories affecting your daughters and mothers and the grouchy ladies in your office this week.”

In I Guess Women Aren’t That Good at Writing After All, a blog post to 5,000 members of She Writes, Kamy Wicoff says: ”We write fiction, we write memoir, we write scifi; we are bestsellers, we are award winners, we are just starting out; we are working hard, we are writing well; we are . . . not as good at it as men are.” …more