Filling in for Dan this week, I feel almost as though I’ve become him.
This man stole identities using Limewire. My method is superior.
If anyone wants to try and prove I’m not Dan, feel free to try sequencing my DNA for under 50k. I dare you.
These boobies have been in disguise. But as Dan I won’t disguise any portion of my body.
Maybe I can do what these men did to complete my transformation. Then I will be Dan both inside and out.
If Last-Week-Dan tries to take back Morning Coffee when he returns, it will be like two heads trying to control one body. Although that would make it easier for us to kiss.
