Ted Wilson Reviews the World #89


★★★★★ (2 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Cars 2.

Cars 2 is the sequel to Cars, the animated film by Pixar. Cars 2 is not out in theaters yet, but somehow they have it in stock for rent down at Highlights Market and Deli and Cigarettes, the corner store where I rent my DVDs and DVD player. They always seem to have things no one else does. Some great finds include Something’s Got to Give Up and Schindler’s List 2: The Revenge.

In Cars, everyone is a car. There are no people. Which is why I was very confused by the scene where a car on the highway had a mattress on the roof. Fortunately, that question and many more are answered Cars 2.

As it turns out, there are people after all! There are some police officers and even an animal which I think is some kind of a ferret. In the first Cars, even animals were cars, like the sheep and bugs, which made even less sense than the mattress on the roof of the car. In Cars 2, the animals are animals, the people are people, and the cars are cars. Although it’s never explained why the cars talk or how they feel when a person climbs inside them. I imagine it’s how I felt the time I had a tapeworm.

Unfortunately, the production values appear to have declined. I’m very easily amazed by computer graphics, but compared to their earlier efforts, Cars 2 looks like they just didn’t have time to finish it or something. Maybe Disney was breathing down their necks.

I would say don’t waste your money seeing this in the theater, but it’s worth the $3.99 rental (only $2.99 with the purchase of a carton of cigarettes).

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Richard Kline.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →