Ted Wilson Reviews the World #206


★★★★★ (3 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Instagram.

There is a new website called Instagram that is nothing but pictures of food, and pictures of people taking pictures of themselves. I found this website by accident while using Google to look for information about myself and discovered another man with my name who is on Instagram. He didn’t have any photos of me, just himself. I was glad because I’m not very photogenic. He sure is though, so I didn’t mind looking at photo after photo of him.

One of his photos was of a plate of spaghetti and when I clicked on the picture it got bigger. I wanted to know where the spaghetti was from because I was hungry and in the mood for a new restaurant, but the text that accompanied the photo was just a bunch of words strung together into a single word. It said “toomuchtoeat” and “gonnaburst.” There was no useful information.

I’ll admit that I don’t always understand all the new internet technology websites, but I recognize that everyone who isn’t in a third world country is very excited by them, so they must have some value.

The name Instagram sounds like it has something to do with instant photographs, but Polaroid invented that decades ago and then they went out of business, so it doesn’t sound like a viable business model. Maybe Polaroid would have been better off if it had lots of rich investors who didn’t mind losing money.

Instagram might want to rethink things. They could become a service that provides instant telegrams. That would make more sense. The world’s last telegram was sent earlier this year in India, so the market is wide open for a telegram service. I think there’s a good chance this could happen because Mark Zuckerberg (the inventor of Facebook) bought Instagram, and he’s known for his pioneering ways. A new telegram service might be exactly the thing that no one expects!

This would be exciting because I know a lot about telegrams. I have sent and received many in my lifetime so I would have a good chance at landing a job at Instagram. These technology companies tend to hire young people but this is one where I could excel in spite of my age.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Coolio.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →