Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Kinkos Copy Center.

When I needed to print flyers to find my missing puppy, I decided to go to Kinkos because I had heard of them. It was literally my first time making a photocopy since my mimeograph broke.

I expected the Kinkos to be a drab place full of office workers, but no – it was an exciting and innovative experience that offered copies, office supplies, and a bevy of shipping options. And I’m not only saying that because Kinkos gave me a coupon book. I’m saying it because that’s how Gerald who is their sales representative was able to sum up my thoughts.

Even the man who seemed to be living at the Kinkos was enjoying himself with all the free tape he could grab. Then when he saw the reward I was offering ($25,000), his eyes lit up. It was a typo, but he didn’t know that, and I bet he was thinking of all the tape he could buy with it.

A customer service representative was very happy to help me Wite-Out the extra zeros in my reward because she knew I was worried about inhaling the fumes. She said she’d be happy to inhale them for me. Then when she was done she asked if she could keep the Wite-Out. I said it was already hers and she said “oh yeah” and stuffed it into her shirt pocket. Then she told me I was cool.

I printed a couple thousand copies of my flyer and it took a couple of hours. More time than I had planned on spending, but I got to know the guy with the tape pretty well. He offered to help me tape the flyers up around town but I had another idea. I began folding them all into paper airplanes to throw off my porch. My hope was that the wind would be strong enough to carry them around the city. It was not and I didn’t get the number of the tape guy, so I had to tape them up myself. I got tired after 800.

My only complaint about Kinkos is their copies weren’t good enough to help me find my puppy. He’s still out there somewhere. Hopefully. I worry someone might have seen the flyers and known there was a free puppy on the loose.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing turbo-boost.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →