Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing the guy who has a puppy that looks exactly like mine.

I met a man yesterday who lives just down the street from me and has a puppy identical to the one I lost. The guy is much younger than me and reminds me of an old Jerry Mathers. If Jerry Mathers had neck tattoos.

This guy’s puppy reminded me so much of the puppy I lost because of how it is indistinguishable from mine. I could tell this one wasn’t mine though because this guy said it was his. The guy refused to tell me his name even after I introduced myself, which wasn’t a very friendly thing to do. You would expect someone who owns a puppy to be friendly.

He did tell me his puppy’s name though. It’s Rocco, which I think would have made a good name for my puppy if I had had time to name it. Both puppies looked like Roccos. Our puppies have a lot of things in common besides looking exactly like each other. They both don’t belong to me, and they both will never play fetch with me.

If I still had my puppy then this guy and I could have bonded over our identical puppies. We had similar socks, which I pointed out, but he didn’t seem to want to talk about that. The only thing he wanted to talk about was how much Rocco is his and not mine. He was very adamant about that.

Maybe if my puppy hadn’t run away I would have a better understanding of this guy. It would give me more insight into the mind of a puppy owner. Perhaps he was worried I might try to steal Rocco since I was longing for a puppy. I would never take his. I only want mine back, wherever it is.

The man went back into his house and threatened to call the police if I didn’t get off his property.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing dinner.

Ted Wilson is a musician, good friend, and widower. His website iamtedwilson.com features all of his reviews (even the banned ones), exciting videos, a live interview with Ted on the radio, and interviews with some of the world's top celebrities! More from this author →