I long to one day live in a country with more freedom available to me and everyone I know and don’t know, more than we’ve all ever known. And for that to be this country. But that has felt like the trap of this country, too. The idea that it could ever live up to its ideals, a carrot held over a bear trap. I don’t want to die feeling I wasted my life on that mission, but I’m old enough now that it’s on my mind. And yet I don’t know where else I’d go. Whatever is going on in the background, or the foreground, that is what I feel whenever people speak to me about America and freedom.





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