The Daily Rumpus
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From Stephen Elliott
So the English University of Bath did a study and found that Barbie abuse is common among girls between 7 and 11. My daughter (4) went through a period of sacrificing babies, but it was short-lived and she hasn’t mutilated Barbies yet.
Today is Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Sons are also included. I didn’t want to pull my daughter out of school so she could watch me tinker on my computer while watching The View. My husband’s in court in Maui and I doubt he’d want her to interrupt the trial by saying, “Excuse me.
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James Ellroy says that, “My Abandonment is an electrically charged, bone-deep, and tender tale of loss and partial redemption.”
1. Saturday night party/silent auction for a school. Daniel Kim was there, looking around. My husband goes, “Hey, are you lost?”
2. One of the items up for bid was to be the headmaster for a day. In the program this was most unfortunately titled, “Head For a Day.” When this is presented to a table full of drunk people in a context where you’re supposed to be semi-refined and respectful, lewdness ensues.
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“Ow. That hurts. I’m in pain.” These are a few things Andy (the husband) will never say. After a snowboarding mishap he blacked out, woke and noticed it hurt when his friend kept jabbing him in the stomach. He googled his symptoms and figured he was bleeding internally and he may have ruptured his spleen.
I have a few more things to say about the princess posse. I didn’t say it all in one post because I have a short attention span and figure you do, too. The princesses aren’t that big a deal. Far worse things await: the Jonas Brothers, for instance, or teen idols with babies and/or meth addictions.
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Within one minute of meeting my waxer I am on a bed, naked from the waist down and her hand is on my vagina. I’m trying to think of something to say, but all that comes to mind is: “So, have you seen any good ones lately?”
She runs over my little remark with remarks of her own: who she knows and who she waxes, and I don’t really like this.
disney, princess, writing, outliers, malcolm gladwell, children’s books, bitches
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“What is this show about?” my four-year-old daughter asks. “Are they going to dance?”
“In a way,” I say. “A mating dance. It’s a game. See, these girls compete to marry the boy. In each episode they have to impress him so they can win a rose.
My first preschool tour was not a good experience. It was going okay until I realized I had dirty underwear balled into the leg of my pants. At first I thought the back of my leg was swollen, but then I felt the bump slide a little lower and realized what was happening.
An Introduction to Bad Mommy
I’m not a bad mother. That title is just a cheap teaser and something to differentiate myself from the mamma masses. It’s interesting. I’m not going to call myself Normal Mommy or Bored Mommy or Cop Out Mom, though all three would be accurate at times.
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