The Daily Rumpus
Get Overly Personal Emails
From Stephen Elliott
Poet, memoirist, and Beat figure Hettie Jones is, like most of us, unhappy about sexism in the publishing industry.
In a blog post on the subject, she discusses VIDA statistics, Deborah Copaken Kogan’s Nation essay, and (drumroll!) Elissa Bassist’s amazing Funny Women essay “Writing the Next Great American Woman’s Novel.”
Jones calls Bassist’s humor “indelible” and ties it into the “frustratingly sad” larger picture.
...moreWe love our Funny Women, and Jezebel does, too!
They’ve republished Elissa Bassist’s satire, “Writing the Next Great American Woman’s Novel.” But you saw it here first.
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A lot of women people (as opposed to men people, or just “people”) are upset that Wikipedia editors have created a subcategory for “American Women Novelists.” But I’m not.
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We were tired of being good, so we decided to start sinning. We didn’t want to kill anybody or steal anything, so we stuck to modern vice.
...moreBitch included FUNNY WOMEN #98: Classic Novels Rejected by Modern Publishing Houses in yesterday’s feminist news roundup.
Thanks, Bitch! You’re on our radar, too!
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How about adding a scene where Elizabeth Bennet accidentally places the winning bid on Mr. Darcy during a charity bachelor auction?
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It was a time in my life when I was frequently “tagged,” along with other Netizens who seemed to keep in touch and do good works. I did no good works, but I tried to keep in touch.
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This notice is to inform you that the procedure/treatment performed on January 2, 2013 is not covered under your health plan by reason code L0L.
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I’m not going to get into the whole who-illegally-sold-a-pet-chimpanzee-to-whom thing
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This is a missed connection, and as such I am very sorry that our connection was missed, or maybe I’m not, I don’t know, because I’ve never met you.
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Pinterest is a million-page woman’s magazine written by everyone you’ve ever met and edited by no one.
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Probably you will not get rabies if your dog licks your face, and you remember afterwards that the previous morning he may or may not have bitten a shrew.
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What to do to when faced with the task of buying a shower gift for the bride of a “traditional marriage”?
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In 1978, Reinhold Messner and Peter Habeler became the first people to summit Everest without supplemental oxygen. But no one has summited Everest with supplemental nitrous oxide.
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To the men who got away: Hey, let’s talk about it now that I have a fresh perspective.
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I told him that I was a novelist and modeled in between books to support the online charity I’d founded to send unwanted makeup to women abroad.
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Did Steve Harvey’s bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man resonate with you? Then you’ll LOVE its nature-inspired spinoff, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Mantis. Here’s a look inside the book on how to get what you want out of love, relationships, intimacy, and commitment.
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On the South side of Tucson near the Samsonite factory you’ll see a woman who’s usually naked except for a long T-shirt. Her thighs are sunburnt, her skin is a white girl’s cautionary tale. Stick around and she’ll scream, “Give me something I can handle!”
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Let me be blunt: you’re a train with human attributes. Who are your parents? From what monstrous act were you conceived?
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Dear Writer (although we both know I’m being wildly generous with that title),
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From: <MommaGlo@aol.com>
Date: Sun, Feb 5, 2012 at 12:31 AM
Subject: Gary’s internship
To: Tuck Lanson, CEO <Tuck@LansonCorp.com>
Following the trend of female lawmakers submitting bills to regulate men’s health, we decided to do the same. We are three straight, gay, single, married, white, Cuban, non-practicing Jewish women, which we think pretty much qualifies us to legislate what all men do with their bodies.
You! Rebecca Victoria O’Neal! I’ve just seen you trip on the sidewalk, confirming a long-held suspicion that you are a Bad Person with Whom I’d Never Hang Out.
“We’re secretaries fully versed in Derrida, receptionists who have read Proust in French. This is a land of girls. There are always at least ten of ‘us’ for every one of ‘him.’” –Meghan Daum, “Publishing and Other Near-Death Experiences”
Fuck yeah, Meghan Daum.
To the left is a copy of Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule, as found in a book. Below is what I imagine Mrs. Franklin’s daily schedule looked like.
When you send me an email, don’t think I don’t know what you’re really saying.
Recently, I started taking improv classes at Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York (founded by the high priestess of funny, Amy Poehler). During each class exercise, I’d think, “This would help my writing.” I compiled a list of writing lessons I learned from Improv 101: